I am nothing.  As much as this world tells me to build myself up, to hold onto whatever grain of pride I have in myself, I know I am nothing.  I am quick-tempered, eager to fight, steadfast in my pride.  It might be easier to say that I am merely prone to some bad habits, but the truth is that it is so much more than that.  I perhaps had an excuse as a non-Christian, when at least I could claim ignorance.  I can do that no longer.  I know the truth and I have tasted it.  And yet, I still struggle with so many aspects of my faith.  Yes, I have been granted victory over some key struggles with sin.  So much so, that I loathe the thought of them.  Still, I struggle with so many more.  This was once quite disheartening to me.  The idea that sin would have such a grip on me was a wall I could not climb.  It hung over me with a shadow looming larger than I could stand.  Now, however, I can see that wall and do battle with it.  Knowing that I am no longer a slave to it has set me free to war with sin.  Oh, it is hard, especially in our American culture.  But, there is power in Christ.

The purpose of my writing this is simply to share the struggles.  It seems quite often that Christians try to hide their struggles, so as not to come off as inauthentic or hypocritical.  I have done this myself many times.  That was even the temptation of late, as I have felt somewhat dry and disoriented in my faith.  However, I am striving to be real in my faith and to recognize that many others have the same struggles.  The Christian walk is not one of ease and it is not for the faint at heart.  We are called to take up our cross and follow Christ into a life in which He Himself said that the world will hate us because it first hated Him.  If you find yourself struggling in your faith, don’t hide, but continue to fight, continue to seek Christ, continue to read the Word.  And on the other side of this season of struggle, you will be stronger for it.  May God bless you.

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